It felt monumental, nerve-wrecking and liberating all at once.
We didn't think our night out was going to happen. I got a call at the beginning of the week from my friend. She couldn't babysit anymore. Boo. Most of our friends were going to the wedding so one of us would have to stay home with Edie. But the next day we managed to find another sleep bouncer, so plans were back on. There was a lot of jumping up and down that night, haha. But then there was the issue with Edie's sleep. She was doing so well with her night sleep in the past month, but for three nights in a row, she woke up crying after the first sleep cycle and couldn't get back to sleep without a bit of nursing. It was weird since nursing never worked as a soothing method before. We were a little worried but just so psyched that our friend agreed to babysit last minute!
By Saturday afternoon though, things weren't looking so good. Edie was up for over three hours for the wedding ceremony and then woke up screaming after a 45min nap. She had a really hard time falling asleep at bed time and cried on and off for 40min. When she finally fell asleep, we wondered if one of us should just stay home. But I decided we should just run out the door and try to enjoy ourselves. After all, there was milk in the fridge if Edie was hungry, and if she really needed us, we could get home in less than 20min. How often are we going to get a chance to celebrate our friends' wedding, and without the baby to boot?
What do you know, after I checked my phone a million times, there was no "MAYDAY!" text flashing. Instead, the update read: "She's sleeping like an angel. Well a starfish really. With her face to the ceiling and arms straight out to either side. Ha". When I read that I felt so relieved but also missed the little starfish like crazy.
It was totally fun to get away, just the two of us. I was really happy to get out and celebrate with friends, but the giddiness was mixed with nervousness. I just kept imaging Edie screaming her head off and freaking our friend out. I wanted to stay and dance, but decided it would be better to leave the party early while we were in the safe zone.
The mummy feelings keep surprising me. Before Edie was born, I never thought for a second I'd feel anxious or the slightest bit guilty to leave the baby, but for whatever reason, these days I have to convince myself to step away, to try to do things without Edie. This girl has been around for four months and I already don't remember life without her.
Oh wait I do. I didn't have these crazy dark circles under my eyes!!
P.S. Edie couldn't stay asleep the next night after the wedding either. So bizarre how the only night of the week that she stayed asleep was when we went out. It might be a coincidence, but we prayed about this and honestly I believe God cares about the minute details in our little family. Amazing.
wow...those mummy feelings are for real!
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