Size
At her last weigh-in (11 months), Edie was 14.77 lbs, so she gained all of 0.07 lbs in a month. She had a crazy poo day after that too, so she probably lost a pound. But since then she's increased her solids intake, so maybe it's all evened out to 15 lbs. Anyway, she is growing. I do miss those fat rolls around her legs, even if they were just mini rolls. Whenever I see her naked it shocks me a bit that she is so skinny for a baby.
She wears 12 months onesies for the length. I like the ones with the snaps more; the stretchy neck ones are like off-the-shoulder tops for this slim top chickie. Believe it or not she still fits into a few 0-3 tops. Pants she wears 9 or 12 months.
Edie is in size 3 diapers in the day, and size 4 for night time.
Schedule & Sleep
Her schedule has been the same for almost three weeks, wow way to regulate yourself, 1 yr old!
7am: wake up, nurse
9:30/10am: nap
11:30/noon: wake up, nurse
2:30/3:30pm: nap
7pm: night sleep
Edie is now sleeping through the night. Hello everyone, did you just hear what I said?! It's been pretty amazing even though I'm actually getting less sleep since I'm now catching up on doing stuff I want to do (plus general laziness). What a change compared to last month.
Just before this milestone, Edie was waking up 2-4 times a night and it took anywhere from 5min to an hour to get her back to bed. Nursing used to get right back to sleep in no time, but during that crazy month she would get super angry if dad tried to sooth her. Even when I went in, she'd try to push me away when I held her, but would completely freak out as soon as I put her down. It was like the newborn stage all over. Finally one night I was so exhausted I really didn't mean to let her cry but had little energy to get out of bed. She stopped after 10min and I thought, yay she's asleep, but started crying again after about 5min of quiet. This little cry-quiet routine escalated to hard crying then to just plain screaming, but by the 1hr mark I thought she would for sure tire herself out. At 6am I was crying myself. Heartbroken for her and feeling like an awful mother, but still resolved to not "waste" the previous hour of crying. To my surprise she's been sleeping through the night since that day.
I don't regret nursing Edie during all her night wakings in the past year. I told myself that she is on the light side and she also needs to stay hydrated as much as possible, so I fed her, even if it was during sleep hours. Before Edie was born and even when she was a newborn, I was resolved to let her cry in order to get a full night of sleep myself. But once she arrived and I slipped into the mother armor, it was a different story. At the end I'm thankful she and I are both getting more rest.
Since Edie has been sleeping 12 hours a night, she can stay up a bit longer in the day time and seems to eat better too.
She still takes two naps a day, and stays awake roughly about three hours at a time. Excluding a few weeks of weirdness, Edie's naps have always been at least one hour if she's in her crib. Usually her morning nap is 2hrs and 1-1.5hrs in the afternoon. Since she's great crib napper I always try to let her nap at home. The funny thing is usually babies stop napping well on the go as they get older, but I find the opposite for Edie. When she was younger she would not nap in the stroller, even if we walked non stop for 2+ hours when she got drowsy. Now she can sleep in the stroller, usually it's short (20-30min), and she doesn't always wakes up happy, but it's better than nothing.
These days I think about why I didn't go out with her more to get her used to sleeping on the go, as if the harder I tried the more flexible she'd be. But then I remember those days when we didn't schedule naps for her and how horrible it was to try to get my cranky baby to nurse, and how she'd cry at night because she was too hungry to sleep. I guess if I have a baby in the future I could try something different. Edie really does love her crib though. Today she even signalled for me to pick her up, which is rare these days since she only wants me to help with walking. As soon as I held her, she started sucking her fingers, which is Edie's sleepy cue. I started walking up the stairs and she leaned on my shoulder. I put her in the sleep sack and placed her next to her bunny. Like most days, as soon as her head hit the mattress, she turned towards the wall and played with the bunny's ears until she fell asleep.
Personality
The two traits that stand out the most so far is Edie's gentleness and attentiveness. Assuming she is well rested, she is happy to observe and inspect anything and everything. Minor details fascinate her. If I leave her in a room with no toys, she will inspect the floor for a few minutes, then she'll probably army crawl to the closet and touch the different fabrics, then she might find a piece of paper and play with it until it's shredded to bits. She always notices when I wear a top with prints and she gets too distracted to eat if we give her a different bib at meal time. Edie is also expressive so there's no mistakes when she likes or doesn't like something. I love it when her eyes light up, her face squishes tight and her whole body shakes when she sees something she loves. She used to do that whenever she saw noodles and now does that whenever we bring in her stuffed toy Big Carrot. She'll grab it tightly to smoother it, then nonchalantly shove it to the side 10 seconds later. Her excitement meter goes from 0 to 10 and back down to 0 just like that.
I heard someone describe their baby as "mellow with a stubborn streak" and I think that fits Edie's personality to a T. She is observant and often looks serious, especially when we're out in public. Once she feels comfortable with someone, she is warm and does her best to get them to smile. Sometimes she also gets snobby and pretends not to hear us, but her sideway smirk gives her away.
Development:
Comprehension
Edie shows that she understands certain words/phrases by reacting the same way whenever we say them. She definitely understands Cantonese more and looks mostly confused when we speak to her in English. A few times she's caught me off guard when I mention an item in a sentence and she actually looks at that object or even crawls/walks towards it. It just surprised me that she was listening to us when we mentioned objects in passing (ie. not intentionally getting her to learn the word), and reminds me that she is always paying attention even if she doesn't show it (Scary).
- 落雪雪 (Snowing) - looks outside and exclaims "Ah!" dramatically
- 轉轉轉 (Dining stool) - walks towards stool and turns it
- No no - shakes her head. She does this randomly on her own and also on command
- Peak-a-poo....self explanatory
- 拍手手 (Clap hands) - claps
- 水水 (Water) - grabs her cup or looks at it and then shove it away
- 嘬嘬嘬 (Suck ) - sucks from a straw
- 舉手(Hands up) - raises both hands
- 照鏡(Look in the mirror ) - looks at her reflection (mirror or kitchen oven)
- Birdie - flaps arms
- 跳舞舞 (Dance) - starts wiggling her body
- 食 mum mum (Eating/Food) - pincer grasps air and puts it in her mouth + smacks her lips
- 頭頭(Head) - touches her head
- 腳指(Toes) - grabs her toes
- Circle - pulls out my nursing pad
- Shake shake shake - shakes whatever she's holding in her hand
- Music - wiggles/shuffles her body
- Radio - glances at the radio, then waits for the music before starting to wiggle
- "Row row row your boat" - moves her body back and forth
- Whoh whoh 狗 (Doggie) - says "whoh" or makes this weird whisper/hissing sound
- Objects: Walker wagon (蝦餃燒賣車), ball, happy bear, big carrot, big broccoli, bunny, button, zipper, remote (遙控), ceiling fan (風扇), lights (燈燈), Read books (讀書書) - looks around the room until she sees the item or moves towards it
- She reacts the same way to these two words but creates her own version of the meaning of the word:
- Belly button - touches her chest
- 電話 (Phone) - holds a fake phone at the back of her head
- Extended family members
At her birthday dinner when our extended family sat down together, she gave us a little show of "who's who". We'd ask her, "where is _____ (e.g. grandpa)?" and she'd look at that person at the table. There were 11 people at the table and she found everyone, with a few exceptions. For grandpa, great-grandpa and great-uncle, they all share a similar sound in Cantonese, so she looked at all three of them. We also asked her where Reno and Kona were (sis' dogs). She looked at the floor, then at my sister. Finally we asked her "where's mani"? and she just looked at her tray. Not bad for relatives that she usually sees on Skype and some only a once every few months.
Speaking
We have heard her say these words consistently on her own. If we ask her to say it she usually stays quiet or will only whisper under her breath.
- "Pawpaw" (maternal grandma)
- "Dada" or "Da-dee!"
- "踢" (kick)
- "奶奶" (milk). She says this when she wants to nurse or just wants me in general.
- "Mama". Usually "nai nai" and "mama" are stringed together.
- "Up"
- "Mum mum". Usually smacks her lips as she says this.
- "Ahhh-rum". This is her way of saying "Amen" in Cantonese, which should sound more like "Ah-Moon". She actually said this when she was really young, but when we made the correlation between her version and ours, she was no longer interested to repeat it, up until this week.
Physical
Edie is surprisingly active. I say surprisingly because both Kel and I are such couch potatoes. I'd like to think that my daily walks with her have something to do with it, haha! She has been doing the army crawl for awhile now, and does stick her butt up (downward dog) once in awhile, but her crawling does not involve any leg muscles whatsoever. Although her crawling is fast and she can be mobile just by crawling, she only crawls to get to get to one of us. Once she reaches our foot, she'll signal for us to pull her up. She loves walking and will strategically grabs each of my hands to get herself up. Her walk is super fast and I think that's why she prefers us walking her than cruising on her own. When she cruises, she is cautious and tries to grab one of my hands if I am close enough. She's strong enough to walk on her own but I guess she still needs some time before she feels confident enough. About two months ago, Edie started to "walk" up the stairs while we were holding her hands. We never taught her to do that but she just put one foot on each step. She also tries to climb up our bookcase, kitchen cabinets, the dining table, and even our faces when we're carrying her! As long as one of us is holding onto her hands, it's like she thinks she can climb up anything. Strangely she never tries to pull herself up.
Food:
Breastfeeding
Our nursing partnership is probably at its best right now. Edie is very happy to nurse and if we're at home I've figured out how to get and retain her attention to get a full feeding. I nurse her about 4 times a day, sometimes more if she's super distracted while we're out. She's had cow's milk a few times and didn't seem to have any allergies. I'd like to day wean her but it may take some time. Today Kel went in with a cup of milk after she woke up from a nap. She was so angry that she swiped the cup across the room.
Solids
We have always offered our food to Edie, ever since she started solids. But she never really started eating seriously up until a few weeks ago. Before she was more interested in the idea of eating than the actual consumption of food. Sure she'd swallow a bite here and there, especially the foods she liked, but for the most part she was still more curious than hungry. Then one ordinary day, she just started eating with intention, and seemed to get eating. It was a glorious day. I no longer felt defeated after each meal. Since she's a year old we let Edie try everything that we eat. I used to bring food for her when we go out, so she'd have a balanced meal and not have to eat processed food, but now I try to order something we can share, and even if she eats just carbs for lunch, we can always have a veggie/meat only dinner. To be fair I was super worried about her solids intake because she was always constipated, but now that the issue seems to be getting better, I can just enjoy going out. It's so liberating and makes going out much more fun. Edie does not enjoy water or any other liquids. So to maximize her fluid intake we give her soup, which she likes (usually). We have to feed it to her at the start of the meal, before she sees the rest of the food, and definitely before we let her start to feed herself. Her Favourites at the moment:
- Carbs. Any kind of carbs. No matter where it's placed in her bento box or what it is, she somehow knows which items are starchy and dives head first every single time.
- Cheese. She gets a very limited amount to avoid constipation, but she loves our smelly cheeses.
- Dragon fruit and papaya. I guess she likes the texture of these fruits but we sure wish she'd eat the locally grown stuff. Since 6 months I've been trying to get her to eat fruit every single day and she's only started to like them a few weeks ago.
- Mini cucumbers. We bring one whenever we eat out. She can work on it while we wait for the food. She likes the crunchiness and maybe because it's high in water content, since she doesn't drink water?
Constipation
We've been battling Edie's withholding poo for a few months. It started out benignly, nothing that didn't sort itself out in a few days, but then Edie was holding it in longer and longer, which made the problem worse. She'd strain and cry, we'd plead and cheer her on, but nothing seemed to work. We tried walking with her, holding her over the toilet, tickling her, putting her on the potty, prunes, less solids, more fibre, tummy massage, thermometer with vaseline, more tummy time, ignoring her when she was holding it in, oh what else...anyway it felt like we tried everything in the book and each of those tricks did work, but not for long. Actually with each new "solution" Edie learned to hold it in with more resolve. Sometimes I cried with her as her little body strained in pain.
I tried hard to tell myself that Edie would somehow outgrow this problem, but seeing how things were progressing, it felt like this "hope" was just a lie. I became obsessed with the issue. I read tons of parenting/health forums, I bought a book on child constipation, and just spent hours and hours trying to fix Edie's constipation. Finally we tried something crazy about three weeks ago. We prayed for her.
In our family, we pray, so we'd prayed for this problem since it started, but in the back of my head I was still so worried, and then feeling guilty that I was still worried! But one day I prayed a prayer for myself.
I felt slightly better that morning but nothing about the situation actually changed. That is, until I shared this story with a friend who's also a Christian. She then challenged me to do something even crazier. To pray for Edie's poo. Hahaha what?! Of course I thought this was nuts, but so is the notion that someone has the power to calm the wind and sea, yet that is what Jesus did (Mark 4:35-41, Luke 8:22-25 and Matthew 8:23-27). If Jesus has the power to stop a storm, then He can control even a piece of poo inside my daughter's tummy. I know I sound crazy but I'm just telling you what happened around here. So we went with it. We laid our hands over Edie's tummy every time she tried to hold it in and prayed.Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:6-7)
Our strategy was crazy and guess what, since then, Edie's constipation has improved leaps and bounds. She goes at least once a day and she doesn't cry or look like she's in pain. Yes she still tries to hold it in sometimes but since the poo poos aren't all dried up and hard to pass, the deed is done before she has a chance to stop it. Yet another miracle in our home. What can I say but, God is good!
Edie's Favourites:
Objects - Books(!) Her love for books has only grown. A new love is her stuffed toy bunny. We gave her a lovey pretty late (maybe a month ago?) and now she's so attached to it. Even when she wakes up she'll want to hold onto the bunny after I nurse her on one side. Edie likes to play with the bunny's ears or tag to help herself fall asleep.
Music - The funny part about hearing music is that when it's background music (e.g. at the grocery store, restaurant, etc), she will start wiggling as if she can't help it. Her facial expression doesn't change but her upper body just starts wiggling about. When I turn on the demo song on the keyboard, 99% she dances and beams. For the record it's Debussy's Arabeque No. 1 and Edie dances wildly to it! If we ask her to dance, she will do it if she's in the mood, usually when she first wakes up or if we're watching one of her regular music videos.
Bath Time & Being Naked - As soon as her clothes are off, she'll kick up her legs and beam. I can't tell if it's because she likes being naked or she's just looking forward to her bath. In any case, this is definitely her favourite time of the day. She loves throwing her rubber duckie and wash clothe out of the tub. Maybe it's her version of container play.
People - Edie loves grown ups, likes to watch older kids for a bit, and has no interest in babies. We think she's racist because she loves her uncle Dave (not Asian like the rest of her family) as if he has sparkly stickers all over his forehead or something. I can definitely tell when someone is in her circle of trust. Her face and body language totally changes, even if she's just talking to them over Skype.
Mommy / Daddy Favourites:
Bedtime - After we pray together with Edie in her room, I ask her to say goodnight to daddy. While sucking her fingers with one hand, Edie will grab Kel's arm with the other and pull him in, to give him a goodbye hug. Sometimes she waves goodbye to him too. Then I nurse her and she'll tug at my hand. The first time she started doing that it looked like her "row row row your boat" signal, so I started singing that and she stopped the tugging. Now I just start singing any song and she's happy with that.
Mommy's Girl - Edie preferred daddy when she was younger, and she still gets super excited to play with dad, but for all comfort and soothing purposes, she wants me to be there. It's especially sweet since I always got the cold shoulder in the early days. These days she'll even look in my direction and give me a little smile for no reason at all. Whenever we move towards her and say "kiss kiss?", she turns her cheek away, but a few days ago, I asked her for a smooch and she actually kissed me twice!
A Year of Love
To sum up the year, please indulge me by playing Seasons of Love in your head. I originally embedded the file but it didn't work, and at 12:37am I am too tired to look for code to play m4a files.
A few days before Edie's birthday and especially the day of, I let myself get emotional and soaked in all craziness that one experiences as a parent. I'm not a writer so I can't fully express my thoughts through words, but what I want to mark down here is how honoured and humbled I am to be a mother, to be Edith's mother, and to share this journey with my husband. In this year I've gotten to know not just a brand new baby, but also many sides of myself and Kel, some shiny and bright, some so dark and ugly that it scared me to know that those were truly parts of who I am. Having little to no sleep and being on-call 24/7 forced me to live with no masks, no pick-me-up treats, just simply a raw version of my "real" self. At times I hated being so bare. But those times also made me realize what kinds of things I relied/rely on to feel a sense of value. Those kinds of revelations versus who I want to be as a person will be an on-going challenge.
While some people feel a sense of accomplishment for giving birth and bringing up a baby, I find taking care of Edie an acceptable prerequisite, something that I have to do, in order to get to the part I actually enjoy. To learn her quirks, to understand her, and for her to know me, it's the relationship itself that's been my reward.
Beautifully written. :D
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